so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Randomize
