I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
