I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
