I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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