Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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