I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
