...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
