The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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