Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
