Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
