DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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