Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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