My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
