You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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