I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
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Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
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I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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