I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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