zippers are such a cool invention
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Randomize
