I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out