The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
