I didn't shave. On purpose
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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