Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
