She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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