Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
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I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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