Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
