if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
God, I missed his penis.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
