No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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