Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
