im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
