I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
