His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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