why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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