You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I just found puke in my bra..
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
