Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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