when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
