If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I would ride that face into the sunset
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
