oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize