adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
