I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
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