farters have to be the big spoon...
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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