I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
someone owes me an orgasm
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
