I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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