brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
