I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
