i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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