Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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