Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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