i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
50% drunk capacity currently
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
