If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
