You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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