Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I was not drunk enough for that final.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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