He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
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theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
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Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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