I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
