I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
