she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
