my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
