Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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