I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
