having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
