I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
