Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
